#125. Proverbs 31 for Exhausted Moms: Why It Should Encourage You, Not Feel Like an Impossible Checklist

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This is The Dwelling Place from Entrusted Ministries.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox, and today,

as we conclude the book of Proverbs

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with chapters 30 and 31, my hope

is that it would not feel like an

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endless to-do list for you, but rather

validation, encouragement, and direction

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Chapter 30 was written by Agur, who is

not mentioned anywhere else in scripture.

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Some believe he was a student of

wisdom who lived about the same

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time as Solomon, and some believe

that it was a pseudonym for Solomon.

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This man is humble.

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He acknowledges God Himself

as the source of wisdom.

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There's a little debate about how

the first line should be translated.

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it's written, " The man

declares, 'I am weary, O God.

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I am weary, O God, and worn out.'"

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I kind of like the translation

that they went with

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he continues in Proverbs 30:5-9,

" Every word of God proves true.

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He is a shield to those

who take refuge in Him.

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Do not add to His words, lest He

rebuke you, and you be found a liar.

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Two things I ask of you, deny

them not to me before I die.

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Remove far from me falsehood and lying.

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Give me neither poverty nor riches.

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Feed me with the food

that is needful for me.

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Lest I be full and deny You

and say, ' Who is the Lord?'

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or lest I be poor and steal and

profane the name of my God."

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This affirms our command elsewhere in

scripture to not add or subtract from

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God's Word and it practically acknowledges

the temptations that occur, in poverty

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and in plenty speaks definitively against

those who disrespect their parents

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In verses 11 and 12, " There are

those who curse their fathers

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and do not bless their mothers.

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There are those who are clean in their own

eyes, but are not washed of their filth."

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And in 17, " The eye that mocks a

father and scorns to obey a mother

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will be picked out by the ravens of

the valley and eaten by the vultures."

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This is pretty gruesome, but it

means that a young man or woman

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that rebels so much against their

parents that it leads to their

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demise will be ravaged by scavengers.

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Let's move on to chapter 31,

The Words of King Lemuel.

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It's an oracle that his mother taught him,

and Lemuel means for or belonging to God.

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So this could be a descriptive

title instead of an actual name.

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Ancient Jewish tradition did attribute

this to Solomon, as there's no Hebrew

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record of a king named King Lemuel.

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If it is another name for Solomon,

then this means that his mother was

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Bathsheba, we've seen at other points

that Solomon and Bathsheba had a really

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sweet relationship, and I love thinking

that this is what she passed down to him.

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In fact, I think it's redemptive.

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As I start to read, you'll realize how

fitting it would be if she were the

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one training her son in righteousness

and warning him against being tempted.

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Beginning in verse two: What

are you doing, my son?

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What are you doing, son of my womb?

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What are you doing, son of my vows?

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Do not give your strength to women,

your ways to those who destroy kings.

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It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not

for kings to drink wine, or for rulers

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to take strong drink, lest they drink

and forget what has been decreed, and

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pervert the rights of all the afflicted.

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Give strong drink to the one

who is perishing, and wine

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to those in bitter distress.

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Let them drink and forget their poverty,

and remember their misery no more.

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Open your mouth for the mute, for

the rights of all who are destitute.

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Open your mouth, judge righteously,

defend the rights of the poor and needy

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This mother warns her son against

the probable downfall of those who

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give themselves over to alcohol.

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She says a king needs to be vigilant

and alert, and when you consume

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alcohol, you become vulnerable.

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She tells her son, "Instead of opening

your mouth to drink, your role before

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the Lord is to open your mouth on

behalf of those who are weak and

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vulnerable and have no voice themselves.

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A king who is intoxicated can't do this."

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This teaching is for his good and

for the good of those around him

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She does mention That consuming alcohol

could be a kindness to those about to

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die or in very tragic circumstances.

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But in taking this in the context

of the whole of scripture, we know

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that all things are permissible,

but not all things are beneficial,

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and we should not be mastered by

anything We're to be ruled by the

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self-control and joy of the Holy Spirit.

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As we read in Ecclesiastes, there is

freedom to eat, drink, and be merry.

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And this is an area of

personal conviction,

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The Book of Proverbs began calling

us to the fear of the Lord, and it

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ends with this next profile of a

woman who certainly fears the Lord

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She's described in an acrostic poem

where each line begins with a different

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letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

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It's basically the ideal

woman or wife from A to Z.

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And I know, especially as an exhausted

mom, it can feel like an endless to-do

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list in which we're missing the mark.

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But remember, this is a mother instructing

a king to look for a wise partner.

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And it doesn't mean that this model

woman was accomplishing all of these

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things at one point in her life.

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When it begins, "An excellent wife who

can find," a more literal translation

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is a woman or wife of strength or valor.

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Some suggest that this follows the

pattern of a military poem or celebration.

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which certainly validates

the strength of a woman.

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Instead of a to-do list, I want you to

realize how affirming this passage is

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About the role that the Lord

has given us in our families.

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I'll read it through, and then we'll

discuss these calls to righteousness.

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" An excellent wife who can find?

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She is far more precious than jewels.

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The heart of her husband trusts in

her, and he will have no lack of gain.

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She does him good and not

harm all the days of her life.

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She seeks wool and flax and

works with willing hands.

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She is like the ships of the merchant

and brings her food from afar.

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She rises while it is yet night

and provides food for her household

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and portions for her maidens.

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She considers a field and buys it.

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With the fruit of her hands,

she plants a vineyard.

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She dresses herself with strength

and makes her arm strong.

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She perceives that her

merchandise is profitable.

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Her lamp does not go out at night.

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She puts her hands to the distaff.

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And her hands hold the spindle.

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She opens her hand to the poor and

reaches out her hands to the needy.

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She is not afraid of snow for

her household, for all her

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household are clothed in scarlet.

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She makes bed coverings for herself.

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Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

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Her husband is known in the gates when

he sits among the elders of the land.

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She makes linen garments and sells them.

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She delivers sashes to the merchant.

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Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.

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She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the

teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

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She looks well to the ways

of her household and does not

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eat the bread of idleness.

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Her children rise up and call her blessed,

her husband also, and he praises her.

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Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all.

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Charm is deceitful and beauty

is vain, but a woman who fears

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the Lord is to be praised.

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Give her the fruit of her hands, and

let her works praise her in the gates

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over and over, Proverbs has given us

the profile of the woman we are not to

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become and not to become ensnared by

But this is a profile of a godly woman.

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It isn't someone who will ride the

king's coattails It's a strong support.

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If written by Bathsheba, she

would've known the privilege and the

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potential to rule at the king's side.

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From this chapter, I conclude

that this woman is rare.

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She's intentional, wise, strong,

and she's aware of her value.

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Not only is she faithful,

she's full of faith.

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She's kind, praiseworthy, and God-fearing

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Did you notice that the chapter

is much about her character and

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very little about her appearance?

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And that's why we need to keep coming

back to the words of God that are

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so countercultural Verse 10 told

us, "An excellent wife who can find?

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She is more precious than jewels."

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This means she is rare and treasured

Verses 11 and 12 tell us, "The

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heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

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She does him good and not harm

all the days of her life."

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The word gain here is a military term

meaning the spoil, and it suggests once

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again that she's battling for her family.

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All of you moms that are being great

stewards, buying and selling things

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on Marketplace and repurposing things

you find on the side of the road,

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this is really validating, isn't it?

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But we also need to heed the call to be

a blessing to our husbands every single

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day, doing them good and not harm.

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Surely it's not a call to be a

pushover, and doing our husbands good

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doesn't prohibit us from speaking up.

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Many of these verses talk about the

woman's diligence and her work ethic.

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She works with willing hands.

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She rises while it's night and

provides food for her household

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and portions for her maidens.

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When we read that she's faithful

to rise early to equip her family

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with what they need, we don't

need to be legalistic about this.

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And certainly in those years of pregnancy

and nursing and waking with little ones

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in the night, I would be very cautious

to feel conviction from that verse

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Thankfully, we get to look at the whole

of scripture to develop wise principles.

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Solomon wrote in Psalm 127:2, " It is in

vain that you rise up early and go late

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to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil,

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For he gives to his beloved sleep.

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So you, mama, especially in that season

when your little ones rely on you so

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much and your body needs to be strong,

get your sleep And of course, if we're

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toiling out of anxiety, then that's wrong.

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Even if we do get up at the crack of dawn

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this excellent woman is not rising early

because she's stressed, but because she

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loves those she serves and the God she

does it for And though verse 16 does

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say her lamp does not go out at night,

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This doesn't mean it has to

be the trajectory of our lives

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Verse 16 tells us she

considers a field and buys it.

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With the fruit of her hands,

she plants a vineyard.

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She thinks carefully about

what she's purchasing.

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There's a time to be creative

and inspired by a deal.

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But in general, we should be cautious

and steward our finances well.

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In verse 17, she dresses herself with

strength and makes her arms strong

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This is another reference to her

character, not her appearance.

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In verse eighteen, she perceives

that her merchandise is profitable.

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She knows her worth and her value.

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She's intentional to do things well, and

then she's confident that she's done so.

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The next four lines all mention

what she does with her hands.

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She puts her hands to the distaff,

and her hands hold the spindle.

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She opens her hand to the poor and

reaches out her hands to the needy

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Her hands are diligently working, but

they're also sacrificially giving.

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She's not hoarding what she has

worked to earn, she's not afraid of

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snow for her household, for all her

household are clothed in scarlet.

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Now, this doesn't mean you're

not a godly woman if your kids

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aren't dressed in the best.

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It means that she has

thoughtfully prepared.

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She knew the cold Israelite winter was

coming, and it didn't take her off guard.

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But I can tell you time and again

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That when I wasn't ready for something,

in the Lord's sweetness he led somebody to

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give me a gift that was just what I needed

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Next, she makes bed coverings for herself.

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Her clothing is fine linen and

purple Even though this is suggesting

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that she was more affluent, it can

remind us not to neglect ourselves.

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In all of our serving for others,

it's okay to bring beauty to your

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household and to dress yourself

well, not just your family

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we see the fruit of her diligence

once again as she buys and sells.

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And this chapter isn't telling us we

have to have a side hustle as moms,

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but rather to be carefully attending

to what we have and what we acquire

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Whatever your situation, whether

you're a working mom or staying home

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This is a way we can be a strong support

for our families Maybe you remember that

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in the first episode, I mentioned that

when God made Eve from the rib of Adam,

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the Hebrew word is actually side, which

is the same word used when scripture

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talks about the sides of the temple.

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You need sides for everything.

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A woman is pivotal.

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And this chapter is a profile

of a woman who radically changes

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the trajectory of her family.

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They're not the same without her They

need her and they're blessed by her.

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And one of the more convicting

verses for me is verse 25, " Strength

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and dignity are her clothing,

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and she laughs at the time to come.

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She looks forward in joy, knowing

that the goodness of the Lord will

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follow her all the days of her life.

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In verse 26, she opens her mouth

with wisdom, and the teaching

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of kindness is on her tongue.

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Here's another validating verse

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That God has created women

to teach and instruct.

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We have the honorable influential

position of doing that in our

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families and with other women

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We don't just have to work and be watched.

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We get to train in wisdom and kindness

When I think about who most people

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attribute their success to when

they're giving a thank you speech or

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celebrating an athletic achievement,

usually they're thanking their mom.

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You and I have been given a position

of influence, and scripture tells us

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to not despise the day of small things.

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Don't let your hiddenness be a hindrance.

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What you're doing has eternal value

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And the faithfulness in which you teach

and train your kids will produce a harvest

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the next verse tells us she looks

well to the way of her household and

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does not eat the bread of idleness.

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In the English translation,

it can feel, Great, you're

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telling me not to be lazy again.

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But if we go back to

the Hebrew, I love this.

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Bread of idleness literally translates

to our eyes looking everywhere, and this

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puts a whole different spin on it for me.

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If we take it literally, it's not

necessarily that she isn't working

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hard, it's that she's not accomplishing

things of value because she's distracted

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by looking everywhere, not knowing how

to move forward in intentionality And

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I think that this could even caution

us against looking too much online, to

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not have our eyes looking everywhere

about what other people are doing, what

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they have, or what they're posting.

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We can be joyfully focused on those

God has placed in our lives, on our

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families, the lost, and the needy And

what's awesome is that this woman

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is getting praised for all her work.

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Her children rise up and call her blessed.

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Her husband also, and he praises her.

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Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all.

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Again, that term excellently that began

the poem means she's done valiantly.

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And in many Jewish homes, the father

begins their Sabbath or Shabbat by giving

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public praise of the wife to the family

I think that's a pretty great tradition

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to have that weekly habit instead of just

an annual celebration on Mother's Day

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And next, charm is deceitful and

beauty is vain, but a woman who

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fears the Lord is to be praised.

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Oh, we need that reminder, don't we?

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As we're watching our waistlines

widen, our skin sag or wrinkle,

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and our hair change color,

outwardly we are wasting away.

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But if we look to Christ,

scripture tells us that inwardly

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we are being renewed day by day.

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You and I have the opportunity

and the choice to be made

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more beautiful internally.

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And you know what?

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In heaven, we're gonna

get a glorified body.

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Boy, am I looking forward to that

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Do you remember that in the

Book of Ecclesiastes, the word

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vain or vanity came up 38 times?

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In the Hebrew, that's hevel.

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It's a vapor.

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It's fleeting, and you can't grasp it.

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This is the same word used here.

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When it says beauty is vain, it's a vapor.

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It's not something to chase after.

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We can give attention to the

way we present ourselves,

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and as I like to tell my daughter,

sometimes putting on makeup kind

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of feels like a fun art project.

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But in a world focused on filters

and perfect pictures, you and I are

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called to a beauty that cannot be

robbed and that only gets better

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as we age and look to the Lord.

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Heavenly Father, I pray over these

women that have an endless to-do list.

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I ask that you would strengthen them

when your word feels daunting or

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discouraging or like a to-be list and

when we struggle to believe that we

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are becoming more beautiful I pray

you would give us encouragement that

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you are at work in us and that our

families are blessed by our efforts.

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Inspire our kids and our husbands

to rise up and call us blessed

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And because your word says give her

the fruit of her hands, I pray that

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you would bless each of these moms

Guide them in how to steward their

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finances and their resources well,

and I pray that you would multiply it

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and receive all the glory when you do

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May our hands be open so that we

can be generous and use what we

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have for you May the teaching of

kindness and wisdom be on our tongues

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and help our families to

not just watch our example

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But may they imitate us as we imitate you.

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Ultimately, help us to be women who

laugh at the days to come because

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we trust, honor, and revere you.

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It's in your name we pray, Jesus.

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Amen