#114. Biblical Discipline, Wisdom for Parenting & Raising Children in the Fear of the Lord | Proverbs 13-16

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This is The Dwelling Place

from Entrusted Ministries.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox.

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Today we'll talk about Proverbs 13

through 16, and I'm enjoying the fact

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that God beautifully inspired Solomon

to weave so many different topics

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throughout this book of the Bible, so

often in life, we go to read a book

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about parenting or health or productivity

and we study a topic in isolation.

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But when we read through God's Word

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The verses and principles

apply to so many areas

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So that the Lord is continually

refining us in all aspects of our lives

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This past year, I copied the entire

book of Proverbs into a Word document

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and printed it out for my kids.

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We went through and highlighted

the different themes that we saw.

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Some of it was a little bit inspired

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by the Get the Word Out color chart and

system that I can link to on our website.

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But it was a really neat activity for

my kids To help them see the different

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themes that were emerging in Proverbs.

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Every time we saw something on

wisdom, righteousness, or the fear

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of God, we highlighted that in pink.

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When there were warnings of bad

influences, like the bad lady or harmful

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friendships, we put those in orange.

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When a verse related to finances

or generosity, we chose green.

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For family and marriage, yellow because

diligence and laziness come up so often

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We noted those and then there's so much

to say about our words and our speech.

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We noted that in another color

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I know at the beginning of Proverbs,

there were some topics you might

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not wanna cover with younger kids

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But this would be a great activity

to do, especially once you get

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to chapter 10, because it's when

those two-line proverbs begin

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As we go through our reading today,

you'll probably hear something that

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applies to each one of your kids

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In order to use our time best, I've

selected about 10 verses from each

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chapter that I hope are encouraging

and convicting for our parenting

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From chapter 13,

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13:1, A wise son hears his

father's instruction, but a

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scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

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13:3, Whoever guards his

mouth preserves his life.

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He who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

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13:4, The soul of the sluggard craves

and gets nothing, while the soul

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of the diligent is richly supplied.

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Steph: 13:11: Wealth gained hastily

will dwindle, but whoever gathers

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little by little will increase it.

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13:12: Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life

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13:14.

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The teaching of the wise is a fountain

of life, that one may turn away from

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the snares of death Thirteen eighteen.

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Poverty and disgrace come to

him who ignores instruction, but

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whoever heeds reproof is honored

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13:20.

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Whoever walks with the wise

becomes wise, but the companion

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of fools will suffer harm.

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13:21.

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Disaster pursues sinners,

but the righteous are

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rewarded with good And 13:24.

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Whoever spares the rod hates

his son, but he who loves him

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is diligent to discipline him."

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14:1, The wisest of women

builds her house, but folly with

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her own hands tears it down.

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14:2, Whoever walks in uprightness

fears the Lord, but he who is

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devious in his ways despises him.

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14:12, There is a way that seems

right to a man, but its end is

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the way of death 14, 15, and 16.

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The simple believes everything, but

the prudent gives thought to his steps.

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One who is wise is cautious

and turns away from evil, but a

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fool is reckless and careless.

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14:23 In all toil there is profit:

but mere talk tends only to poverty

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14:26 and 27: In the fear of the

Lord one has strong confidence, and

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his children will have a refuge.

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The fear of the Lord is a fountain

of life, that one may turn

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away from the snares of death.

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14:29: Whoever is slow to anger

has great understanding, but he who

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has a hasty temper exalts folly.

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14:30: A tranquil heart gives life to

the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot

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14:31, "Whoever oppresses a poor

man insults his maker, but he who is

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generous to the needy honors Him."

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Fifteen one: A soft answer turns away

wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

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Fifteen five: A fool despises

his father's instruction, but

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whoever heeds reproof is prudent.

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Fifteen ten: There is severe discipline

for him who forsakes the way.

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Whoever hates reproof

will die: 15:16

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Better is a little with the

fear of the Lord than great

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treasure and trouble with it.

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Better is a dinner of herbs where love

is than a fattened ox and hatred with it

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15:20, A wise son makes a glad father, but

olish man despises his mother: 15:22

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Without counsel, plans fail, but

with many advisors they succeed

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and 15:28 through 33.

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The heart of the righteous ponders

how to answer, but the mouth of

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the wicked pours out evil things.

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The Lord is far from the wicked, but

He hears the prayer of the righteous.

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The light of the eyes rejoices the

heart, and good news refreshes the bones.

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The ear that listens to life-giving

reproof will dwell among the wise.

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Whoever ignores instruction

despises himself, but he who listens

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to reproof gains intelligence.

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The fear of the Lord is instruction in

wisdom, and humility comes before honor

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Chapter 16.

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All the ways of a man are pure in his

own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.

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16:5, Everyone who is arrogant in

heart is an abomination to the Lord.

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Be assured he will not go unpunished.

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16:6 through 9.

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By steadfast love and faithfulness,

iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear

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of the Lord one turns away from evil.

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When a man's ways please the

Lord, he makes even his enemies

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to be at peace with him.

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Better is a little with righteousness

than great revenues with injustice.

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The heart of a man plans his way,

but the Lord establishes his steps

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16, Pride goes before destruction

and a haughty spirit before a fall

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16:20, " Whoever gives thought to

the word will discover good, and

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blessed is he who trusts in the Lord."

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And 16:32, " Whoever is slow to

anger is better than the mighty,

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I appreciate the way that

Solomon repeats these themes

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over and over in different ways

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So that hopefully it sinks in.

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We hear the importance of our words, that

peace and joy matter more than wealth

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But the theme that I'd like to

highlight today is that it's so

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important that we stop and heed God's

directions to discipline our kids.

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13:24 told us, "Whoever spares the

rod hates his son, but he who loves

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him is diligent to discipline him."

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Our study Entrusted with a Child's Heart

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can help you gain a

comprehensive understanding

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of what biblical discipline is

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And we have a great resource to help

guide you in that for free on our website.

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You might be wondering, where does

Entrusted stand on the issue of the rod?

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Betsy would say after decades of

researching this and studying it

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in scripture, disciplining your

child is a biblical conviction.

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How you do that is a personal conviction,

and you and your husband have a spectrum

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of options with which to choose.

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But it is certainly biblical that you

would choose to restrain your children

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from the sin in their own hearts

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As we read over and over about the

blessings of the fear of the Lord, I want

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to encourage and challenge you to make

sure that you're fearing the right things.

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Your awe and reverence of God

and your obedience to His Word

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should be the guiding force with

which you make your decisions.

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Not articles or books or expert

advice of people that you've never

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met that don't submit their lives to

Christ As Paul Tripp says, " There

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is no greater issue in the heart of

a child than the issue of authority."

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We bless our kids when we give them

boundaries and lovingly train them

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so that they submit and surrender

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My Moody commentary says of

this verse, " Parents who love

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their children discipline them.

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If folly is bound up in the heart of

a child, and that folly is deadly,

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then a parent who withholds the

rod not only spoils his son, but he

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may even push him toward his death.

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Loving one's child calls for

diligent discipline to root

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out the folly in his heart."

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At the end of grace-based discipline

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Karis Kimmel has an appendix

entitled To Spank or Not To Spank,

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and she says, "We have incorrectly

drawn the line in the sand.

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It shouldn't be to spank or not to

spank, because there are parents

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who spank who are walking in grace

and love, and then there are parents

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who spank abusively as punishment."

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I appreciate this analogy she gives.

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" But remember, a knife can be used

to make a death blow to the heart

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or for life-saving heart surgery.

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It matters whose hands it's in.

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Not all spanking is abuse,

and not all abuse is spanking.

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I know for a fact that in the context of

a grace-based home, within the boundaries

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of a loving heart connection between

parent and child, when a parent is making

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a sacrificial choice to cause their child

and themselves a little bit of pain now

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to protect them from a whole lot more pain

later, abuse via spanking is not possible

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Before we get to the heart of the child,

we need to make sure that our hearts

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and our motives are in the right place.

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So with that in mind Let's once

again go before the Lord asking Him

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to purify us in disciplining our

kids as He lovingly disciplines us

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Heavenly Father, we are truly grateful

for your Word and the way that your Spirit

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transforms us through it Thank you for

entrusting our children to us, and we

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want to parent them as you would have us.

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Help us to be faithful and

diligent, disciplining patiently

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and lovingly for their good

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allow us to see through the lenses

of eternity so we can get to

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the heart of the issues and not

compromise for their temporal comfort

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Grant us discernment

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So we're not manipulated or swayed.

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And give us endurance

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When it seems our words aren't

sinking in, and we're feeling

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discouraged by the lack of fruit

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Ultimately, guide us in your grace.

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We know we have been forgiven,

and we pray that you would

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help us to model to our kids

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the sweetness of your mercy and the

winsomeness of your ways, and point them

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to the joy that can only be found in you.

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May your words be the ones that rise

above all of the chaos and clutter that we

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encounter And clarify what you call us to.

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May we walk in the fear of you alone.

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In the mighty name of Jesus we pray, amen