#116. Promise, Proverb, or Warning? "Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go" | Proverbs 21–24, Biblical Parenting & Wisdom for Christian Moms

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This is The Dwelling Place from Entrusted Ministries.

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I'm Stephanie Hagocks, and as we look

at Proverbs 21 through 24, we'll bring

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in some advice for marriage, talk about

a planning strategy good enough for a

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president, and cover one of the most

commonly quoted parenting verses But

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first, I wanna remind you of our giveaway.

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I'll link the directions in the show notes

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for our scripture reading today, once

again, I've selected some key verses to

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guide us from each of these chapters.

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I'll read those and then give you

my take on a few that I think are

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particularly helpful for us as moms.

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Beginning in chapter twenty-one

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The king's heart is a stream of

water in the hand of the Lord.

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He turns it wherever he will.

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21:5 and 6.

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The plans of the diligent lead

surely to abundance, but everyone

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who is hasty comes only to poverty.

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The getting of treasures by a lying tongue

is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death.

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It is better to live in a corner

of the housetop than in a house

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shared with a quarrelsome wife.

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21:13.

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Whoever closes his ear to the

cry of the poor will himself

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call out and not be answered

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21:17 Whoever loves

pleasure will be a poor man.

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He who loves wine and

oil will not be rich.

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21:19 It is better to live

in a desert land than with a

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quarrelsome and fretful woman

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21:23.

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Whoever keeps his mouth and his

tongue keeps himself out of trouble

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21:25 through 26, " The desire

of the sluggard kills him,

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for his hands refuse to labor.

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All day long he craves and craves, but the

righteous gives and does not hold back."

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and 21:30 through 31, " No wisdom,

no understanding, no counsel

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can avail against the Lord.

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The horse is made ready for

the day of battle, but the

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victory belongs to the Lord."

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And in chapter twenty-two, verse

one, " A good name is to be chosen

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rather than great riches, and favor

is better than silver or gold."

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Twenty-one two tells us, " The

rich and the poor meet together.

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The Lord is the maker of them all."

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twenty two four, The reward for humility

and fear of the Lord is riches and honor

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and life twenty two six, Train up a

child in the way he should go even when

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he is old he will not depart from it

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22:7 The rich rules over the poor, and

the borrower is the slave of the lender.

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Folly is bound up in the heart

of a child, but the rod of

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discipline drives it far from him

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twenty two, twenty four

through twenty five.

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Make no friendship with a man given

to anger, nor go with a wrathful

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man, lest you learn his ways and

entangle yourself in a snare.

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In chapter twenty-four, verses three

through six, By wisdom a house is built,

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and by understanding it is established.

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By knowledge the rooms are filled

with all precious and pleasant riches.

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A wise man is full of strength, and a

man of knowledge enhances his might.

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For by wise guidance you can

wage your war, and in abundance

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of counselors there is victory

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In 24:8, whoever plans to do

evil will be called a schemer.

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The devising of folly is sin, and the

scoffer is an abomination to mankind

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In 24:13-14, " My son, eat honey, for

it is good, and the drippings of the

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honeycomb are sweet to your taste.

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Know that wisdom is such to your soul;

if you find it, there will be a future,

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and your hope will not be cut off."

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24:21, My son, fear the Lord

and the king, and do not join

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with those who do otherwise

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In 24:27, " Prepare your work outside,

get everything ready for yourself in the

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field, and after that, build your house."

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and twenty four thirty

three through thirty four.

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A little sleep, a little slumber, a

little folding of the hands to rest, and

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poverty will come upon you like a robber,

and want like an armed man You probably

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heard some really familiar ones in

there, including Proverbs 22:6, " Train

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up a child in the way he should go.

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Even when he is old, he

will not depart from it."

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Many believers cling to this as a

promise, thinking, "Isn't it such good

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news that if we just do our part, God

promises that we have this guarantee?"

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But it's just taking this verse out of

context to take it as a promise when

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it was just intended to be a proverb of

what often happens in life when we're

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faithful In fact, I was given a book

on the wisdom of Proverbs, and they

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devote an entire section on this verse.

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It gets pretty complex going back

to the original language, but they

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said that many people see this verse

actually as a warning, kind of like

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you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

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You better teach them while they're

young because there's no way

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they'll learn it when they're old

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Remember Proverbs 19:18 told us,

" Discipline your son while there is hope.

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Do not set your heart on his destruction."

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When we have a deterrent

for our children's behavior

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we have an opportunity

to guide their hearts.

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Of course, this is an issue we wanna be

so careful with, and we spend several

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chapters talking about what godly,

loving discipline that gets to the

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heart of our kids looks like in the

Entrusted With a Child's Heart study

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Because we know that these are really

sensitive issues, and we wanna make

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sure that we are only disciplining

our kids as the Lord would have us

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but going back to that old dog, new

tricks idea, we've all experienced

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grown adults that have been allowed

to continue in patterns that were

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frustrating it may seem overwhelming

when we are constantly training our kids

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But this is the prime time for

training and it may not be a

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guarantee of what they'll become.

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But at the end of their lives,

would you rather say that you've

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been faithful with anything else?

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If you are experiencing the pain of

having a prodigal child, I'm gonna

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link to an episode on our Again podcast.

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One of my dear friends and her husband

are biblical counselors, and they

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did a wonderful job speaking hope and

direction into this really painful trial

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when we get to some of these verses about

wives, especially 21 verse 19, " It is

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better to live in a desert land than with

a quarrelsome and fretful woman," I get a

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picture of the mom in Pride and Prejudice

her character is so exasperating, but

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particularly when she says, " Oh, Mr.

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Bennet, how can you tease me so?

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Have you no compassion

for my poor nerves?"

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And he wittingly responds,

" You mistake me, my dear.

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I have the highest respect for them.

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They have been my constant

companions for these 20 years."

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I think we all feel

quite sorry for poor Mr.

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Bennet having had to live with her

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in 24:3, " By wisdom, a house is built,

and by understanding it is established."

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It brought to my mind Proverbs 14:1, "The

wisest of women builds her house, but

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folly with her own hands tears it down."

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It convicts me as a wife because I

can either be a part of strengthening

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my home or tearing it down

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A couple verses later, we read, "A

wise man is full of strength, and a

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man of knowledge enhances his might."

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I am ever the advocate of loving the Lord

with all of our minds, And I really love

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This idea that we are gaining strength

by increasing in knowledge: 24:27

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reminded us to put first things first.

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Prepare your work outside.

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Get everything ready for yourself in the

field, And after that, build your house.

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I've read that before and thought,

"Don't let my husband see that verse,"

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'cause if he thinks it means we better

mow the lawn before we do any house

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projects, we're gonna be in trouble.

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But we need to think about

who the original audience was.

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This was an agrarian society.

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If they didn't plant their seeds first,

they were all going to starve it

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means to do the first things first

or the most important things first.

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Perhaps you've heard this quote from

President Dwight Eisenhower, " What

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is important is seldom urgent, and

what is urgent is seldom important."

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Stephen Covey created a matrix on this,

And I think it can be really helpful

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because motherhood often feels like

the tyranny of the urgent There are

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constant interruptions from us managing

so many different spheres of life.

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I want to put this more into practice for

my family, and I thought you might too

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Let's picture a chart with four quadrants

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The first quadrant on the upper

left is where the important and the

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urgent intersect, like a crisis.

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For example, an urgent medical need.

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You have to deal with it right away

because your child's health is important,

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but it's also urgent because if you don't

act now, there will be a consequence.

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If we move right to quadrant two

There's the intersection of things

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that are important but not urgent.

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This is where our goals and

planning come into play.

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Precisely that planting of the

seeds that needs to happen.

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It may not need to be done this very

moment, but it can't be neglected either,

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or there will also be consequences.

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If we go down to quadrant

three on the bottom left

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This is things that are probably

classified as interruptions because

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they're not important, but they are

urgent, and it requires wisdom to know if

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we really have to heed or pay attention

to these interruptions in our days.

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It reminds me of getting an email

for a sale, and you have to decide,

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do I actually need these

things that are on sale?

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or is this just an interruption?

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And finally, in that fourth quadrant on

the bottom right, we have the intersection

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of not important and not urgent.

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Instead of just being interruptions, these

are the distractions, and there's just

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no need to pay attention to any of them.

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Depending on what your convictions

are, you might find that something like

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social media would fall in that quadrant.

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Perhaps you're realizing at the end

of scrolling, you've never felt good

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about how you've spent that time,

and it's never been life-giving

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or peace-producing for you.

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It might be something that you just

say, "I'm gonna have to reevaluate

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later, but I just don't have

time for these kind of things."

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The banner over all of this has

to be a perspective of eternity

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Maybe we have an opportunity to share the

gospel, and we know that it's absolutely

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urgent, and we drop everything for it.

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But the most important things

in life take intention, and

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they're not just going to happen

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And what could be more important or

more intentional than us praying?

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So let me close being guided by

Proverbs 23 as we lift up our kids.

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Heavenly Father, we

treasure how life-giving and

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peace-producing your word is

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Help us to train our children so that they

would apply their hearts to instruction

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and their ears to your words of knowledge.

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May we be faithful to discipline

them We pray for wise children that

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speak what is right so we could

rejoice in their godly character

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We pray that you would protect them

from envying sinners, but guide

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them in walking in the fear of you.

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That they would realize that this is

what gives them a hope and a future

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Direct them in a way that would glorify

you and do not allow them to be given

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over to addictive habits Give them

humility to listen to us as parents

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And pursue wisdom and knowledge,

realizing the blessing of a strong

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education May we have their hearts

and as they observe our ways, may they

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see mothers and fathers following you.

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So we could say, "Follow

us as we follow Christ."

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Thank you, Jesus, that with

you there is always hope.

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It's in your name we pray.

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Amen.